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Men with initiative are considered romantic and determined.
Women with initiative are considered mad and desperate.
Being considered a model of masculinity, the man is somehow associated with “acting” and the woman with “reacting”.
The man must have the active role, and the woman the passive role. I say “must” in an ironic-sarcastic tone, because an inverse approach is viewed with skepticism and criticism, being enough to label the woman as desperate. Not determined, not assumed, not mature. But desperate.
When the woman knows what she wants, she can maybe pray, adopting a passive attitude and waiting for the planets to line up (or not) and things to happen by themselves in the desired direction.
What I don’t understand is why communicating a feeling, a desire can not convey the idea that the woman is in agreement with her needs, wishes and emotions…? Where is the desperate label coming from?
Of course we are not refering to the backpack woman, the one that has an exasperating stalker attitude, rather transmitted in a masculine and crude manner, a control attitude that is manifested by the imposition of a certain desire, but it is not shared.
I would associate despair with the insistence, pressure, domination and inability to manage a possible refusal.
Although refusal is rather the rejection of a proposal, not of a person.
Disregarding this may lead to the thought that “You must necessarily accept my initiative”, and this misinterpretation can lead to desperation by insistence.
Understanding this, having the openness and awareness that your proposal may not be met with openness can make you a rather brave, not desperate.
The fact that you assume that things can not go in the direction you want and the courage to take this risk, however, shows that you have a certain relaxation and confidence. All these aspects are always shown in the way of behavior and approach.
I think the initiative is an ingredient that helps us keep our relationships warm and close. It is a way of showing interest, attention, affection. Therefore, we have every reason to cultivate it.
You show it matters and that you are willing to make the effort to “come” towards him.
On the opposite side, the attitude of the non-initiative can be perceived in a negative tone, from several perspectives.
At the same time, the blockade of the initiative can also be translated by emotional blocking that stops you from a deeper engagement in the current relationship.
The decision to pay attention, by dedicating your time, the availability you show and the giving of all your attention are unfortunately often taken for granted and devalued or unappreciated.
The ability to offer unconditionally and with all your soul does not provide you with a positive response.
Women are generally complex models with sophisticated circuits and assemblies. The mind and psychology of men have a basic, primitive design that, even though it improves through education, its core remains simplistic. And maybe without so many shades. When I say “shades”, I mean some sensitivity and detail of the men’s radar that they can misinterpret, perceive things late or not at all.
Fortunately there is an entire generation of men who want women to take the first step and think that women should embrace the power and independence. And, indeed, some men are too shy or do not know what to say or think the woman is not interested.
Finally, what do you have to lose, woman? A little pride that can be replaced with a bottle of wine. 🙂
The answer is easy, take the initiative. You have nothing to win by waiting, and if it does not go out as it should, then you will know that they were not the right people for you without regrets.